I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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