Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
