what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
