Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
