At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Less talking, more tequila
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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