If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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