we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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