Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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