i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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