Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
