I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
