No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
