their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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