matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
