I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
