i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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