Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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