i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
