His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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