bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
