So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
