He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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