paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize