But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
