chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
