But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
