Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
