Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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