Some one left their pants in the elevator.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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