Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
