I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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