pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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