Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
