Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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