In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
