Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
