New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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