Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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