Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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