well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize