He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
