yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
