I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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