I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
