I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
