I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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