Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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