At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
