i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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