u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Randomize
