when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
