Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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