she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
