i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
