the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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