GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
