Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Why is your signature on my underwear?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
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