My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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