I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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