I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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