But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My cat gives me a boner
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
