you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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