Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
