Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
