weddingsv make me drug and hornr
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
BRING THE BAGELS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
