he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
