just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
