3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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