I want to make a zoo with you.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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