Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize