he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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