yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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